The other day J (my son) and I went to my mother’s house for a late dinner. I knew once we got into the car that this trip was going to be challenging but I forged ahead anyway. From the moment we entered her house until the moment I left he was in tornado mode…screeching, throwing things (he says he was playing, Delivery Man), crashing into delicate items and mostly being four-years-old at 9pm without a nap.
I was beyond frustrated and extremely tired! All I wanted to do was go home, put him to bed and fall asleep. However, when it was time to put on our jackets, he refused…he wanted to sleep at grandmas house! I initially refused, reminding him that he had an early play date and horseback riding lessons the next day, but being that he is four, none of this mattered and he decided to stay with grandma.
As I walked into my home, ALONE I told my husband that we had a free night and that we should do something fun. However we both looked at the clock and realized it was too late and more than that, we were both exhausted. As I walked through the living room J’s Christmas picture caught my eye and I began to tear up. I missed the little guy, like a lot! The person I was just furious with was the only person I wanted. I told my husband how I was feeling and he told me he felt the same exact way, home just wasn’t the same without J.
I went to bed that night thinking about how lucky I am to be mom to such an independent, intelligent, empathetic, handsome wordsmith. I also thought about how truly short life is (can be) and how we should love, appreciate and cherish the ones we have while they are here!
I slept well that night, like really good and when I got up in the morning to pick up J I was so excited to see him! I apologized for being a bear and we were on our way to an amazing play date. I decided then to love him for who he was and be happy in the moment. However in true four-year-old fashion he began to complain about the color of his gloves but instead of instantly being upset with him I smiled, accepted and loved him just as he was.